From mentor to mentee: Lifelong Learning as Leaders
Chapter Leadership Brief 1.24.25
by Dee Dee Mozeleski
Senior Vice President of the Office of Institutional Advancement, Communications and External Relations, & Executive Director of the Foundation for City College
A few years ago, as part of my annual evaluation, my boss shared with me that he thought it was time I started thinking about the world outside of our campus. For years, my head was definitely facing inward. But, I told myself, I had so many wonderful reasons (ie: excuses): we were building a school, then we were building a board, then, of course, we were merging foundations and, well covid, what about covid? However, he was right: I was spending a lot of time thinking about everyone on the team and no time thinking about myself.
Years ago I was always ‘moving my cheese’ or looking at five year goal setting and thinking about pivots. Then I got to an age, and to be honest, a title, where the opportunities to be mentored were far less identifiable and I felt a bit adrift. It’s also possible I was worried that people wouldn’t take me seriously if I articulated a need for support. Maybe they’d question how I’d gotten to this point - maybe they’d think I wasn’t ready after all of this time.
Of course, that’s exactly when I needed to be mentored by someone outside of my circle.
The longer your career, and the more networks you break into, the harder it can be to ask for support. As we begin to navigate increasingly complex teams, we may find ourselves (hopefully, only for brief moments) feeling like we’re not prepared to lead.
I look back to March of 2020 and remember that no one taught me how to pivot, immediately, during a global crisis. Like millions of people, I was asked to come up with solutions to challenges I’d never faced before, and to do that while dealing with the loss of friends and colleagues.
Having someone outside of my immediate network to bounce ideas off of became so important. So, for a year, when there was any quiet moment on campus, I would pick up my phone and cold call people from other agencies, all around the country, and ask for their help and insight. I remember thinking that this wasn’t something I’d done in years - the simple act of a phone ringing sometimes shocked people so much that they kept me on the line far longer than my immediate question warranted. That type of support, from complete strangers, was exactly what I needed and that level of collegial mentoring helped me so much when, a year later, I was tasked with thinking about my professional development.
January is National Mentorship Month and, as professionals who spend all of our time bringing together people and wonderful causes - I hope that we’ll remember that mentoring extends beyond ‘youth’ and ‘new’ to all of us. Being receptive to an outreach from a stranger is one of the single best things we can offer to people across our industry. Recognizing that there is no title that places us in a position to stop learning or to stop seeking guidance can truly allow us to be innovative, grow and continue to work to inspire others, while still offering us a way of thinking about our own continued professional growth.
What makes a great mentor? Many things make up a great mentor and mentee experience, but the things I have found to be the most important are:
A sense of curiosity about others and adaptability.
Patience: Listening and building trust should take time and it’s worth the effort.
Empathy: Being able to see ourselves in the roles of others.
Ability to set and meet goals.
A willingness to open up our networks to one another.
Commitment to each other and the process of actively mentoring and accepting mentoring.
Accountability to the relationship and an openness to staying connected whenever possible.
I’m happy that I listened to my boss and took his evaluation goals seriously. I reached out to colleagues and people I wanted to meet and joined a wonderful network of women through Chief. I did what being ‘too busy’ at work gave me an excuse to forget: I asked for guidance, I sought out help and I learned that I’m far from alone. So many of the people I have met over the past five years were also struggling. They’d done everything they’d been told would take them through their careers and were all now stuck not knowing what was next. Once we identified that shared challenge, breaking down the barriers to growth came so much easier.
Here’s to mentoring, of course, but really, here’s to allowing yourself to be a lifelong mentee!
Dee Dee Mozeleski is the Senior Vice President of the Office of Institutional Advancement, Communications and External Relations, and, as such, also serves as the Executive Director of the Foundation for City College. In 2016, she was asked to serve in the additional capacity of Senior Advisor to the President of City College, Dr. Vince Boudreau. Ms. Mozeleski has spent more than thirty years working in service to public higher education institutions, cultural programs, international agencies and government organizations. During her time at City, she led the consolidation of the College's two fundraising organizations and oversaw the fundraising campaign which launched the Colin Powell School for Civic and Global Leadership in 2013 and, more recently, oversaw the launch of the College's new "Doing Remarkable Things Together" Campaign to bring the Foundation's endowment to $1 billion dollars.